My Husband and I Review All of Our Fragrances
My husband Sam and I are obsessed with perfume and have amassed between us an enormous collection — so enormous, in fact, that we actually have to keep about half the bottles in “storage” (a cool, dark place in our closet) when we’re not wearing them. We rotate them out seasonally.
I’ve been writing about fragrance since my early days at xoVain, and Sam has also become fairly well-known in the Twin Cities retail community for his mini reviews on his work Instagram. Since fragrance is one of our shared passions, we decided to review our ENTIRE collection for you.
I’d like to caveat this post by saying many of these bottles were gifted by brands or vendors or won by Sam at his job. Yes, there are a lot of expensive bottles, and yes, we did buy a lot of those too, but I don’t want to present the illusion that we’re blowing hundreds of dollars on perfume on the regular.
Chanel No. 5
K: Aldehydes forever. The more, the better. This is what I wore on our wedding day.
S: I think this is probably maybe the only time I’ve picked up a bottle of Chanel No. 5 and taken a whiff. It’s still instantly recognizable. Essentially the cartoon description of what perfume smells like. It’s beautiful.
Chanel No. 5 Eau Premiere
S: How different is this from regular Chanel No. 5? Is it fruitier? I can’t tell if I’m smelling the dust on top of the bottle or the fragrance itself? It’s very pretty and smells like Chanel No. 5. Just like you.
K: I love this and have been wearing it for years. It’s a lighter, somewhat more youthful Chanel No. 5, but it isn’t fruity or sweet or trite. It’s still classic and elegant, good for when you have a hangover.
S: Quite sharp, but in a pretty, not aggressive way.
K: Sharp dark rose, inspired by a scent worn by Marie Antoinette. I think this one is powerful and confident, and our receptionist at work always asks me what I’m wearing when I wear it.
Hermes Un Jardin En Mediterranee
S: Smells like the ocean and figs. Bright and fresh without being wussy and reedy through the top notes. One of my all-time favorites.
K: Creamy figs.
Hermes Eau de Gentiene Blanche
S: One of the reasons I fell in love with this is because it has an irreplaceable quality. It’s a flower that grows in high quantities in the mountains. Someone said it smells like jalapenos, and it totally does. It was one of my first “This is MY fragrance” scents. Very green and vegetal.
K: Jalapeno meets baby powder. That’s all I can smell now. It does smell like you though.
Hermes Bel Ami
S: In my mind, I have this memory of smelling this 10-12 years ago and thought it was old fashioned. It’s very masculine in a good way, spicy and leathery, how you expect manly fragrance to smell like.
K: Classic aftershave masculine. I love this one. It smells like a rich grandpa.
Maison Francis Kurkdijan A La Rose
S: Sometimes rose fragrances are so weighed down. This is so bright, green and dewy.
K: Shampoo rose, way too expensive but pleasant and pretty. I like to wear this when I want to feel clean. Is that gross?
Maison Francis Kurkdijan Oud
S: Normally when oud is a center of a fragrance, they can be so violent and hard-edged and off-putting. This is sort of a gourmand picture frame around the oud to soften it and make it more palatable. It’s the difference between eating a shitty baked potato and dressing one up with everything else to make it a meal.
K: Once again, way way way too expensive. But sweet, sensual and less hardcore than a traditional oud.
Estee Lauder Beautiful Belle
S: Does this smell kinda like pears? It’s clean, fruity and inoffensive, but I don't’ know that it’s the most memorable thing I’ve ever smelled.
K: Harmless. Just smells “good.” Easy, no thought needed. It’s a real shampoo floral, and I like to wear it when going to the grocery store. Is that weird? Maybe.
Estee Lauder Beautiful
S: Much rawer and greener – a fresh sapling quality, which is quite interesting.
K: My most complimented fragrance. Smells like a bride. Pure ‘80s rose goodness. Someone wrote that this smells dated now but I think it’s truly classic. The bottle, though … that’s dated.
Estee Lauder Knowing
S: I think you could ask me what this smells like in a minute and I wouldn’t remember. Smells like a flower stem I can’t identify.
K: Full-on ‘70s rose chypre. Lady in a tux. So glamorous. My go-to when I wear a suit or a cashmere sweater.
Le Labo Ylang 49
S: You wear this a lot, don't you? I just think this smells like you. Ylang ylang … I don’t really know what it looks like, but it smells floral … I don’t think I could smell the scent of the flower and know what flower it is.
K: My signature scent, although I haven’t been wearing it much lately. Will not be accepting criticism at this time.
Le Labo Patchouli 24
S: I don’t think this smells like patchouli at all. It smells like tar and birch trees, with a hint of smokiness to it. Because I wore it on the most important day of my life, I can smell it from a mile away, but it on its own can be smelled from a mile away. It’s got a very strong sillage.
K: Smells like our wedding day. It’s smoky and creamy at the same time. Like you?
Le Labo Santal 33
S: It’s a beautiful fragrance that smells like everyone you know. It’s the Arcade Fire of fragrances, where you thought you were the first person to know about it but found out it was a huge popular thing.
K: No thanks, need a break from that one. A long break.
Nasomatto Nudiflorum
S: Very dirty jasmine. Intellectually, I know it’s an aldehyde jasmine, so I know it opens with those clean Chanel No. 5 bubbles, but it smells like a dirty jasmine.
K: I don’t agree with that at all, and don’t find this super dirty either. I don’t get aldehydic jasmine in the slightest; I get caramel, sugar-coated floral. There’s nothing light and bubbly about Nudiflorum to me. This is one that, when you wear it, I can smell it on you for like three days.
Nasomatto Pardon
S: One of the reasons I like this is that it fees sophisticated but at the same time not extraordinarily complex. Smells like chocolate, but also like magnolias. Pretty and rakish, like I should part my hair.
K: I feel like this is what every upscale men’s store smells like these days. That’s not a bad thing, but I think this will feel very dated soon.
Creed Irish Tweed
S: Mostly just smells like classic handsome man. This guy wears a Rolex, not an interesting Rolex but a Rolex nonetheless. Vaguely citrusy, but oceanic too.
K: Clean. Missionary sex.
Creed Silver Mountain Water
S: There’s a coldness in this which sets it apart from a classic “handsome man” fragrance.
K: This is kind of boring for the price tag, but it’s pleasant, genderless and easy to wear.
Eight & Bob Nuit de Megeve
S: What’s cool about this is it has herbal top notes, but after a few minutes, you get this playful vetiver. This is a balanced vetiver, not sour or muddy.
K: I hate this one. Sorry. It reminds me of Beyoncé Heat, which is a fragrance I despise. And I like vetiver.
Alaïa
S: Very sweet, but very pretty.
K: Do you pick up on the hot stones after rain note? If not, this fragrance is lost on you.
S: Yes, there’s a definite mineral quality. A cotton candy sweetness, but much deeper than that – quite a bit of weight. I actually really like that.
K: Well, I got it at Marshalls for $30.
Narciso Rodriguez for Her
S: There was a guy that I worked with at Martin + Osa who wore this. We had a contest because he liked to stomp around in his shoes, and part of this was so people would know he was there. I wore these black Chelsea boots that had the loudest sound of all time, and he got upset that my shoes were louder than his. It always reminds of that guy. It’s pretty! I like it! But it reminds me of that time.
K: I’m actually anosmic to this after a few minutes, meaning I can’t smell it after the initial spray, but I love it regardless. Sensual, sweet, sexy musk. I also bought this on Poshmark.
Comme Des Garcons Incense Sur Avignon
S: One of the reasons that I bought this is that I want LAVS by Unum, a big church frankincense. It felt right. It’s woodier than LAVS is, but still has the dense incense warmth, but with a cypress that breaks through the incense that is very cool.
K: We bought this because it was part of the Chandler Burr book about SJP’s Lovely. Let’s not lie here. Smells like Easter Sunday incense. I was raised Lutheran, so I don’t understand Easter Mass, but I’ve found it’s a deep-yet-light woody scent that’s easy to layer and I’ve been trying to make my own version of SJP’s signature scent (this, Bonne Bell Skin Musk, some oil she bought on the street) ever since.
Kiehl’s Musk
S: A complaint that I have a lot about musk-forward fragrances is that they can be cloying, heavy, weighed-down, too sweet. This is one of those archetype musk fragrances that makes me think of that.
K: Wow. You hate all my fragrances. I love this. A dirty tee shirt from someone you love. Cozy and comforting.
PHLUR Añoranza
S: This is pretty. Smells like rotten flowers, which I think is cool.
K: I really like this heady tropical for the first five minutes and then kind of hate it. I might rehome this one.
Tom Ford Black Orchid
S: I think there’s a Labatt commercial from the ‘90s where they’re talking to a hockey player named Guy LaFleur and they’re like, “What’s your last name mean?” he’s like, “The flower.” But like … a tough flower. Hefty.
K: I love a love it or hate it scent. I love this one. Creamy, polarizing, lasts all day and makes you feel sexy as fuck. It’s a real femme fatale scent.
Thin Wild Mercury Chateau 1970
S: Something about this is extremely familiar. This smells like a sharper, more modern version of Hovet Fascinator.
K: Sharp, ‘70s=inspired rose – nothing too fresh, nothing too sexy. Everyday with an edge. I am clearly going through my “rose” phase. I also like that this was inspired by the Chateau Marmont. I’m a sucker.
Vilhelm Do Not Disturb
S: Now that you say glue-y I can’t not smell that. It does have a certain Elmer’s vibe to it.
K: Carnation but not carnation enough for me. A little bit glue-y .. not in a bad way. I think the marketing copy was a little misleading, and I definitely fell for it. I also drunk blind bought this on Poshmark. Don’t recommend doing that unless you’re SURE it’s going to appeal to you.
S: Isn’t all marketing copy misleading? The bottle sure is pretty.
(We only have these in travel sizes so there are no pics.)
Frederic Malle Portrait of a Lady
S: I’d say the same about this as A La Rose. It smells like big, bright heavy roses.
K: No way. Portrait of a Lady is way spicier and deeper, a patchouli rose. I wish it wasn’t so goddamn expensive. I really hated this a few years ago and now I can’t get enough.
S: Yeah, I guess.
Frederic Malle Geranium Pour Monsieur
S: Smells like minty geraniums, and because I have it in the travel sizes, it always reminds me of being on vacation.
K: Agreed!